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As a Tantra practitioner and Sexologist, I get a fair few questions thrown at me about what Tantra is. Questions like:
Is Tantra like the Karma Sutra?
Isn’t Tantra just a bunch of hippies having orgies 24/7?
Do I need to set aside 8 hours for a Tantric sex session?
Is Tantra all about deep, intense eye contact and mind-blowing orgasms?
Today I want to de-bunk a few common myths about Tantra and assure you that Tantra isn’t just for hippies, in fact Tantra is for everyone and is a simple way to take your sex life to a whole new level.
Let’s be honest, any style of sex can last for hours, Tantric sex included. But no, Tantric sex isn’t always a ‘love-making marathon’. Tantric sex definitely includes the quickie, the fuck-me-up-against-the-kitchen-bench and the Sunday morning lazy sex session.
The difference between ‘regular’ sex and Tantric sex is that Tantra connects you in body, mind and soul. Usually we relate sex to connection just within our bodies, but when we incorporate Tantra we connect on a deeper level. Tantric sex can even be experienced on a one-night-stand, but often the difference is that even if it’s a one-night-stand, the sex feels more like making love and isn’t ‘just another fuck’.
Of course Tantric sex can lead to amazing, ecstatic orgasmic experiences, but it is SO much more than that! Tantra is about experiencing joy and deep love in everyday life. It’s about connecting with everything in life on a deep level and consciously choosing people and experiences that nourish and bring love into our lives. Tantra helps us open our hearts and allows us to access our emotional body and intuition to guide us on the right path in life.
Let’s face it, people from all different backgrounds are choosing to have orgies as I write this and if that’s what they’re choosing, I say go for it! But no, Tantra isn’t some weird orgy cult that encourages people to shag whoever they want, whenever they want. In fact quite the opposite; Tantra teaches that we should only connect sexually with people when we feel connected at all three centres – our animal (sex) centre, our heart centre, and our consciousness. When we feel a YES at all three centres then guaranteed the sex will be a whole lot more powerful and connected.
Tantra is for everyone, not just hippies. Reality is, ‘hippies’ are often open-minded people who want to explore ‘out-of-the-box’ living … so perhaps that’s why a lot of hippies are attracted to Tantra, because it’s a little different. But people from all different backgrounds practice Tantra because they want to enter into sacred, connected, healthy relationships with other people, simple as that.
Firstly, Tantra isn’t just about sex, Tantra is a way of living that celebrates sexuality. Our primary relationship should always be ourself, Tantra encourages individuals to cultivate a deep inner union that allows us to feel completely whole. When we can feel whole we can then enter into union with others without needing them to fill up our cup, because our cup is already overflowing. So no, you don’t need a partner to practice Tantra, you simply need a commitment to joy and connection in your life as an individual.
Juliet Allen is a Sexologist, Sexuality Coach, Tantra Practitioner and author. With a reputation for her bold and straight-to-the-point manner, Juliet facilitates 1:1 coaching sessions, educative workshops, and transformative retreats. Juliet’s purpose is to empower men and women to embrace their sexuality & transform their sex and relationships.